My brain says no but my pants say off.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
