I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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