"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
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