so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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