Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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