i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
