And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
