Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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