oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
