would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Randomize
