North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
