Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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