At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
