As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.