I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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