Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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