well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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