covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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