i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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