babies were throwing up all over the place
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize