im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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