I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Randomize
