Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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