Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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