Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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