He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
