How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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