I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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