I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think people are normalizing furries
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
