its not stalking. its research.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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