you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
