literally had 100 drinks last night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
