come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
