There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize