Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
