to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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