Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
