you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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