I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.