I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.