ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
