I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
