Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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