i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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