Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize