We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
