Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
