i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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