my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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