I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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