its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
