Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
