Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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