I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
