ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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