The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize