I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
