Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
