We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
