Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
