I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
